Moving, Slowly, On
by kaatee
Summary: It's two months after Edward has left Bella - she chooses to move on; but is it for the right reasons? Inspired by a song called 'Thinking of You' by Katy Perry. BellaxOC, and, later BellaxEdward ON HIATUS FOR INSPRIATION
1. Aftermath

**Author's note, I guess: Ok, so, Hey :)  
This is my first fic, so please be nice ;)  
Could you let me know what you think, then I'll know whether to carry on with it :/  
My story is set about 100 pages into New Moon, 2 months after Edward leaves, and it will be written from Bella's point of view, I think, unless I change my mind later!  
Thanks so much for reading! ^^  
Ps, I'm from England, and I've just discovered trying to write American is difficult, let me know if I can improve! Thanks! xx  
(Disclaimer - Unfortunately, I'm not Stephanie Meyer, I don't own Twilight!!)**

Padding my way across my newly carpeted floor to the window, I discovered it was raining. The gentle patter against my bedroom window was sort of soothing. I remembered when I'd first moved to Forks, when I'd hated the rain and found it difficult to sleep. Not much had changed, I supposed. I still didn't particularly like the rain and I still found it difficult to sleep, I just didn't mind the sounds of Forks anymore.

I slid the old, unused window open and it released with little effort. There was a sudden burst of unclear memories in the back of my mind, but they didn't stay long. Triumphantly, I pushed them back. It hadn't taken long for me to train my mind to block out that part of my life.

It had only been just over two months since they'd gone… since he'd left me. I knew I'd have to face up to the idea that he wasn't coming back eventually – why not now?

I'd started back at school the middle of last month, after a fortnight of moping in my room. Charlie had been really good about everything, sympathetic even. It was Monday, time for school again.

I made my way quickly to the bathroom. Slowly, I took the time to brush my teeth thoroughly and sort out my hair, before I got changed and went down for breakfast. A chore, at the very least.

Charlie had started making an effort to eat with me twice a day, afraid to leave me alone too long, I guess.

"Morning, Bella." He greeted me, brightly, as he ate his fried breakfast of eggs and bacon – about the only thing he could cook for himself.

"Hey, Dad." I poured myself a bowl of cereal and sat down.

There was silence for a few minutes before Charlie broke it, I was used to the general direction of his conversations by now. "You got anything planned for this weekend?" He asked, looking up from his food for a second.

I made the effort to laugh. "Dad, it's only just Monday. Last weekend is just over." He nodded solemnly; I thought it best to continue. "I can ask at school – see if anyone's planned anything already. Why do you ask?" I casually avoided using the word 'friends'; I wasn't completely sure on its definition at the moment.

"I just curious, Bella, wanna check you're not getting bored…" He let it hang, but I understood. _To make sure you're not thinking too much, Bella, it's not good for you._ I knew he meant well, but it still didn't make me feel any better.

"I'm fine, Dad." I smiled; it felt like I'd been saying that a lot lately. "You know me, I like being on my own."

"I know, Bella, but I want to spend a bit more time with you. It feels like we live together; yet we never have any real conversations."

I finished my food and looked up at him. "Where are you going with this?" I prompted, as gently as I could.

He shrugged, his plate also empty. "I don't know… just keep your Sunday open, ok?"

I nodded, taking the plates to the sink and washing them out. "Sure."

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No one seemed to notice the noise of my truck pulling into the school parking lot – whether it was out of politeness or just ignorance, I didn't know. I was yesterday's news by now.

Plenty of situations out-stating mine had occurred in the last month that made me totally invisible to most people.

Jessica and Mike were still on and off – they'd gone out three times since the beginning of term, each time resulting in a break up more dramatic than the one before. Angela and Ben had celebrated their six month anniversary and were still going strong. Tyler's parents had bought him a new hatchback and he'd promptly hit Mr Banner's 4X4 after having it only a week.

Mike, still incessantly loyal, waited for me to get out.

"Hey!" I heard him shout through my window.

He walked me into school, nattering about the half-term dance that was coming up; I'd almost forgotten about it. It was this Friday, which would make Charlie happy.

My first lesson of the day was biology. I took my seat and got out my notes from the previous lesson.

"Morning, Bella!" I glanced left to my lab partner. His name was Josh; I'd only met him this year. He always went out of his way to be nice to me – just like everybody else – but he was different. He was easygoing and we'd just clicked. We'd understood each other within the same week of meeting, without having to know much about the other. We'd easily become friends.

"Good morning." I smiled, looking enthusiastic; although I'm sure I fooled no one.

Leaning on his elbow, he turned fully towards me. "You feeling ok today?"

I laughed. "Yeah." I slammed my book out of my bag and down on the table. "Weirdly, I'm happy to be here – my dad's driving me crazy. You?"

"Sure – but I'm not glad to be in school. I don't know where my weekend went."

We sat in silence for a good few minutes. That was another thing I liked about Josh, he didn't need to talk to me to enjoy my company – like Angela.

That reminded me; I started to speak just as he opened his mouth. We both laughed. "You go first." I encouraged.

"I was just wondering if you were going to that dance this Friday." His tone, remarkably light, showed him to be asking only in passing. I was curious as to whether there _was_ an intention behind his question.

I thought through my answer before I spoke. He looked up at me, questioning my silence. "Erm, I'm not sure; probably not. You know what my luck is like? I'll end up in A&E." Again, I pushed back any memories that surfaced without consciously realising I was doing it.

He nodded, glancing back at his work. I took my escape with gratitude.

Mr Banner called the class to attention and launched straight into a lecture on the many stages of photosynthesis.

The minutes passed by slowly, Mr Banner's voice going in one ear and out of the other.

I knew Charlie was right in the respect of thinking too much; I was doing it now.

Of course, I'd had more than enough time in 2 months to think through what had happened in the forest. I should know that thinking about it only brought it all back – but, I supposed, I just wasn't quite ready to let him go. I love him – present tense – I don't _want_ to let him go.

I could remember it clearly; like it was yesterday. The way he'd taken my hand and walked me into the woods. There was a blank in between this and remembering waking up, collapsed, on the forest floor, in the rain, and being found by Sam Uley. I didn't think about what he'd said – that really was too painful. It didn't pain me too much to think about when we were happy; for that whole half a year, but there were only certain memories I had. I almost smiled to think, but stopped myself – it wasn't something I should find funny… him altering my mind, it sounded so possible. I could believe it without the shadow of a doubt.

"Bella?" Mr Banner's voice brought me back to the present.

Josh coughed. "Oxygen." The class giggled.

"Thank you, Mr Johnson. I'm glad you know the answer." He paused and turned to me. "Bella, pay attention." He opened his mouth to begin again when the bell chimed. I collected my things in silence, Josh did the same.

As always, we walked out of the classroom side-by-side, almost unconsciously.

"What's Charlie done, then?" Josh asked suddenly, hoisting his bag onto his shoulder for comfort.

I laughed, feeling at ease again. "He's just trying to protect me, I guess."

"From what?" His forehead creased.

"Well…" I paused, looking up at him; thinking it was painfully obvious. "From… myself… I'm not really sure. I think he thinks I'm dangerous to myself or something." I shrugged, screwing up my face. My next class was just up ahead.

"Oh, right." He said, looking down.

He spoke again when we were beside the door. "Well, anyway, Bella, I'll see you at lunch." I almost jumped to feel his fingers by my waist; not quite touching me. I could feel his body heat through my clothes, it nearly felt nice. Much to my surprise; I blushed. "Let me know if you change your mind about the dance." He smiled and turned away from me, taking off in the other direction.

"O…k" I muttered, watching him depart.

Wow… Now this was unexpected.


	2. Fixure

**A/n: Hey again!  
I've got an important exam this week and my driving test coming up pretty soon, so updates might be slow! Just a warning!  
Thanks to anyone who's read my first chapter, and extra thanks to those who've favourited or put alerts out for me! Your support means so much!**

Government, strangely, went pretty quickly.

I couldn't decide whether I was looking forward to lunch or not… I was unsure of what the atmosphere would be like. I worried all through class, wondering if Josh would sit with me or whether he'd avoid me; wondering if I'd get a chance to speak to Angela before he showed up – if he did.

I walked out of class feeling light headed from thinking.

I pondered over what _he'd_ think; were he here. I made a mental note to think that area through later on; when I would be alone.

Angela was rummaging through her locker, just outside the door. I exhaled, thankful.

"Angela!" I shouted to her. She saw me strolling towards her and smiled, waving at me. "Where's Ben?" I asked, glancing around at the constant flow of faces, all making their way to the cafeteria.

"Still in Trig, he'll meet me in the hall." She said, slamming her locker shut; we joined the line of people making our way to the cafeteria. "What's up? You look all flustered?"

"That's what I need to talk to you about." I murmured softly, looking up at her, I paused. "I _think_ Josh inadvertently just invited me to the dance on Friday."

"Josh from biology?" She asked.

I nodded. Her face immediately showed concern. "I'm not sure, Bella." She took a breath, squinting as she thought through what I'd told her. Finally, she shrugged. "I don't know, Bella, maybe he'd be good for you." She stepped towards the counter, paying for her food.

I picked a slice of pizza, an orange and a bottle of lemonade and paid for it. Angela waited for me. "I don't know if I'm ready." I admitted my only fear.

We took our usual seats, Jessica and Mike – now back on, apparently – were sat together at the far end of the table, and a few people drifted towards us, but apart from that, the table was empty.

"Bella…" She soothed, looking at me, her eyes anxious. "Definitely, don't go into anything you're not ready for… but maybe…" She thought for a second. "Maybe this is what you need."

I was surprised by her reaction. I'd expected her to think it was a bad idea entirely. She knew my feelings were still hurt and predominantly active. She also understood it would probably take a while for me to heal completely. She was probably the only true friend I had.

She'd been the only person to stick by me after what happened, along with Ben. Everyone seemed to think I was crazy or suicidal or something. I'd missed a couple of weeks of school to begin with, so I'd had a lot of catching up to do. People thought that I'd been skipping intentionally, for the sake of it. Angela understood – she sympathized. From the first day, she'd appreciated that he'd meant a lot to me, more than a lot; he was my everything. When he'd left, I'd had nowhere to fall and no one, besides Charlie, to fall on to. I was incredibly lucky, and certainly undeserving, of Angela.

Because of this, I respected her advice and opinion absolutely.

"I know you're still hurting, Bella, but maybe trying something new would help the pain." She took a bite of her apple; I dug into my pizza. "I mean…" She began, once she'd caught my attention, she shrugged. "You can try, right?"

I thought about it, sure, I could. What would it hurt to give him a chance?

Maybe Angela was right… maybe finding someone else was the quickest route out of the pain and hurt; the quickest way to fix me. It _had_ been 2 months, after all. At least I'd know if I was ready; I'd have a clear indicator.

"Yeah…" I nodded, my eyes blank. "Sure, of course I can."

She smiled, crunching her apple again. She looked past me, seeing Ben through the open doors. She swallowed and waved at him. He rushed over, dropping his bag into the empty seat next to her.

"Sorry…" He groaned. "Bleeding trigonometry!" He cursed, moving away to get some food.

I laughed; I knew the feeling. Mr Varner had had that effect on me last year. I chewed absent-mindedly on the crust of my pizza. "How's Ben coping with all that extra work he's got?" I asked, genuinely curious. Ben had taken on some additional classes to help towards his grades for college; so far he seemed pretty stressed.

"He says he's managing so far…" She replied, unconvinced. She eyed her boyfriend from across the room. "I don't get to see him much anymore." She said, her face solemn. "He's _always_ working."

This saddened me. "When's the next time you're seeing him, y'know, outside school?" I enquired. I wanted to help them, if I could.

"This weekend." She answered, automatically. This made me think she was annoyed.

I didn't want to press her, so I dropped it; I know I'd want her to do the same. Ben was making his way back over to us and the room was filling up so I spoke again, to end our private conversation. "Thanks, Angela." I smiled. "For listening."


	3. Contact

**Ok, sorry it's been a while. Exams are over and I'm finally destressing - thanks for today, Suzie btw - I know right?  
Driving test next week so I'll probably be starting the sleepless nights pretty damn soon - sorry if updates are slow!  
I don't want to give excuses cos it always annoys me when other people do it, so sorry guys! Lol, sorry i keep saying sorry ;)**

Josh swaggered into the canteen shortly after Ben had taken his seat next to Angela. He smiled at me; I smiled back.

Angela, of course, saw the exchange. She eyed me steadily. I shrugged.

Josh came and sat by me, digging into his food instantly. I laughed. "Calm down, Josh; it's not gonna run away."

He finished his mouthful. "Nah; I'm scared _you'll_ eat it!" He poked a finger at me.

I laughed again; "I'm sure…" I replied, peeling my orange carefully with my fingers. I always seemed to end up with a wet, citrus-smelling blouse when I tried to peel fruit. It amused most people, but it really wasn't good for an 18 year-old girl.

There was silence for a few minutes. I had my orange totally unwrapped when he spoke. "How was Government?" He asked.

"Alright, I guess…" I shrugged. "Same as usual." I ate a segment. "How about the very exciting Gym?"

He cackled loudly; but lowered his voice when he spoke. "Funny… I hit Jessica on the head with the ball." He giggled again. "By accident, of course."

We spent the rest of the lunch period discussing how Jessica had reacted to his 'accident'. Apparently, her eyes had bugged out of her skull; she'd been fuming. We laughed together. It was easy to talk to Josh; there'd never been anything blocking our friendship. Even though there may be something in the way now, it didn't seem to be affecting us. It was a good sign.

The cafeteria started to clear; people moving off to their lessons or finding a safe place to skip. I had Spanish next; I wondered if I should skip.

Jessica got up from her seat across the table, Mike followed her. She smiled at me as she passed and took Mike's hand. I watched her leave, waving to Angela as she left with Ben before turning to Josh.

He seemed to read my face easily. "You going to Spanish or not?"

"Ha." I giggled. "Yeah… Might as well, since I'm here."

I stood up from my seat, and, again, Josh made to walk me to my class. He seemed to walk closer to me than usual. I had a feeling it was unconscious; he didn't reach out to me or make any kind movement that suggested he knew he was doing anything.

We didn't speak again until I was outside my classroom door. "Well…" He sighed, but smiled down at me; he was a good few inches taller than me. "Have fun." He joked, knowing I suck at Spanish.

I laughed; "So long as you have fun in Math – you like that, right?"

"_Touché_." He whispered. "Try to be fair with Charlie tonight, ok?" He requested, now in all seriousness. "You know he's only trying to help." He took a step forward, again, placing his hand at the top of my jeans.

I nodded, my mouth gaping from his proximity. It had finally hit me. "Yeah…" My cheeks flamed red again and I cursed them silently.

He chuckled. "You look so cute when you're embarrassed." His fingers moved to touch my cheek ever so lightly… "Bella, you don't need to be, you know."

I smiled, my head raising as I looked up at him; it was amazingly easy to look him in the eye. "I wouldn't be if you didn't put me in these situations."

"Yeah; you would." He snorted. Much to my surprise, he pulled me into an awkward one-arm-round-my-shoulders hug. His arm wrapped around me felt strangely comforting. I felt the warmth radiating from his skin and I absorbed it, closing my eyes for a brief second. His strong, dominant muscles encaged me and I almost eased gently into his body. For that short moment that my vision was impaired, I didn't feel Josh. I felt _him_. _His _sculptured being closing in on me, _him_ leaving me no escape from his icy embrace. "You always are." Josh let go of me suddenly; looking around us and realising that the hallways were empty. "I'd better go." He murmured, more for his sake than for mine.

My eyes sprang open and I surfaced. I didn't know whether I'd be able to speak; just _what_ had come over me?

"Ok…" I was still shocked by how forward he'd been with me today – he'd definitely not been like that last week. I looked up from my feet, anxious to catch him before he left. "Josh…" I began, catching his attention. He looked at me with confused eyes – wondering if I was about to execute him, I guessed. "Are you sure you're alright?"

He gave me a lopsided grin. "Sure, I'm great." He backed away from me, still facing me as he made for the outside doors. "I'll speak to you later, Bella. Call me tonight!"

I watched in incredulity as he turned and ran for his next class. "Ok!" I shouted to him; he acknowledged hearing me and was gone.

I frowned, placing my hand on the door handle and walking into Spanish. Mrs Goff gave me an irritated look. "_Tarde, tarde, tarde_!" She chanted, ushering me to my seat. I sat down gladly; I needed to think.

_What was that?_ I thought to myself, hoping if I repeated it; the answer might suddenly come to me. It didn't.

I'd not thought about his touch for a month or so now… it had made it more difficult to move on. I might find myself thinking about _him_ and the few memories I still had, not realising it – but I tried my best to block out any recollection of the way his skin had felt on mine that I still had. But, clearly, I wasn't doing well enough. Glancing up to find out how engrossed Mrs Goff was with her teaching, I closed my eyes and tried to empty my brain.

The best way, I usually found, to clear my mind, was to think plainly through the problem that was stressing me out; and then just forget about it. It meant that I wasn't just ignoring my feelings, but I also wasn't letting them bother me for too long.

I tried to think through, logically, what had just happened to me. Josh had put his arm around me… and it hadn't felt like him. It hadn't been him – I'd have sworn on it. For a moment, it had been _his _arm around me, _his_ body pressing against mine. I would have believed it – if it weren't totally impossible.

Maybe I was going crazy?

I did miss _him_. Not quite uncontrollably, but a damn lot – much more than I should. I suspected that these strange emotions were my mind showing me how I felt. How I still felt. I tried my best, when leading my everyday life, not to show people how I was feeling. But being a bad liar, as well as an appalling actress; I never convinced anyone. They knew. They all knew. I suppose that these strange sentiments were my body letting me know that it knew too. I would never quite forget the way his body had felt next to mine; maybe that was something I was going to have to live with.


	4. Happiness

**Sorry it's been a while. Number 4. Thanks to Suzie (Sorry, I can't remembe how to spell the name thing you have) just cos she causes me to chuckle and helps me in concentrating - yeah, right? ;)**

Parking two wheels on the kerb, I pulled up outside my house. Putting my truck into neutral, I got out and made for the house. I never locked the truck unless Charlie asked me to; who would want to steal it?

Charlie's cruiser was abandoned on the driveway; as if he'd just turned in and left it there, not bothering to park properly. He'd probably forgotten his lunch again and come home for his dinner hour. The door was open.

"Bella?" I heard his voice from the kitchen; I dropped my bag at the bottom of the stairs and made my way through to him. He was hovering over the stove, gripping a dirty frying pan.

"Wow, Dad, what's the occasion?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. Charlie rarely cooked, and when he did, it was a fry up.

He laughed, his laughter lines creasing down from his nose. He always looked so much more handsome when he was happy – he must be having a good day. "It's only bacon, sausage and eggs, Bella, not exactly _Master Chef,_ is it?"

I smiled: fry up. I opened the fridge, but couldn't find anything that took my fancy. I leant back against the kitchen-top. Staring out the window, I watched the rain and waited for Charlie to say something. I knew he'd come out with it when he was ready.

A few minutes later, as he was plating up his dinner, he spoke. "How was school?" He asked innocently, but I knew what he was getting at.

I sat down across the table from him and leant on my elbows. I nodded. "Yeah, good." I sighed. "There's a dance this Friday night that I forgot to tell you about." I glanced up at him from under my eyelashes, wondering how he'd react to Josh's invitation. I decided not to tell him just yet. "I think I might even go…" I trailed off. "I'll have to sit in the stalls and wait it out though." I laughed.

"That's probably a good plan." He agreed.

"How's your day been so far?" I enquired, more out of politeness. I knew he wasn't legally allowed to discuss his work, not that he would even if he could.

"Fine… you know how it is." He said, giving me a small smile.

I felt the silence begin, and, strangely, it was awkward. This never happened with Charlie – we were both the same in the respect that we only said as much as we needed to and weren't afraid of the quiet. The silence dragged on for a couple of minutes before I got out of my seat and made for the stairs. It was unbearable. My chair scraped across the floor boards.

"Bella." Charlie called me back.

I sighed and poked my head round the door frame. "Yeah, Dad?"

"Sorry," he cut himself a bite of food. "Just sit down with me for a second."

_Crap!_ This couldn't be good… I joined him at the table, my hands in my lap. This was my 'uncomfortable' pose. "What's up?" I almost demanded.

He paused for a moment, looking across the table at me. Eventually, he frowned. "I think you should call your mom." His voice was grave and monotone.

I couldn't hide my surprise. "Why? Has she called?" I made to get up and go for the phone.

"No, Bella, she hasn't." He clarified, holding my arm from across the table.

I sat, staring at him blankly. "Then, why?"

"Bella, honestly..." He sighed. "You're not happy here, Bella, and I can see that. There's no shame in admitting it if you don't want to stay here."

"What?" I stammered, incredulous.

"Tell me, truthfully, that you're okay."

My gaze turned on the table, tracing the grain in the wood with my eyes. My hands were twitching. "I'm fine, dad."

He gestured his hand towards me. "This is the problem, Bella!" His voice had risen only slightly. This was highly out of character for him. "You are not okay in Forks - you don't even like it!"

I still couldn't look at him. "I don't want to move, dad. I've only just settled in."

He was quiet for a couple of moments. "Just talk to me, Bells. I feel like I hardly know you."

"We never talked before. Why is now any different?" I asked, my voice small.

His voice was the loudest I'd ever heard him. "You know damn well why now is different!"

"I'm sorry, dad."

"I don't want you to apologise." He told me, I could tell he was still frowning without having to look at him.

I was becoming irritated. He was being so cryptic – I actually had no idea what he wanted. "So you're saying you want to talk more?"

He sighed. "No, honey, I'm not." He was starting to realise that we weren't getting anywhere.

I raised my eyes and shook my head. "Then, what _are_ you asking? I don't understand, dad."

"No, Bella. I'm the one failing to understand here." His voice was stern. "I wish I knew what was going on with you. You don't tell me anything."

"I can be more open…"

He shook his head again, interrupting me. "No… I don't know, Bella, I guess I just wish you _wanted_ to talk to me. Maybe, then, I wouldn't feel so helpless." His face showed his words to be true. He was frowning at the table a way I'd never seen him before. Charlie was deflated, if that was the right word. He really was as disappointed as he seemed that he felt I didn't talk to him because I didn't want to.

I choked on the words I couldn't say, the specific ones that would've made him happy. _Dad, Edward is a vampire. I love him, I still do! I want him more, right now, than oxygen. His whole family were vampires, and they welcomed me, the human, with open arms. I miss them so much. _Even if he'd risen himself enough to believe me, it wouldn't help him in understanding me. What would he think of me? I thought I'd stick with a half truth; there was no need to hurt him even further. "I do want to talk to you, Dad." I hung my head.

He didn't let me finish. "It's ok, Bella, I do understand, but I don't like it." He gave a small, half-smile. "You're an 18 year old…" He paused. "_Woman_." His eyes wandered while he spoke the word, and then returned to me. "And I get it, honestly, I do. I'm your dad and you don't want to sit and talk to me about your problems. That wouldn't be so bad if you talked to _someone else_."

"I talk to Angela." I stated, defensively.

"You're not happy." He went back to his original argument. He spoke quietly, maybe hoping I wouldn't hear. "Edward's not coming back anytime soon, you know that. You have to let go of him and get on with your life."

I was taken aback, speechless. So many thoughts flew through my head at the sound of his name out loud. I was glad I was sat down; my knees felt shaky and I was sure I'd have fallen if I were stood up. I wanted, more than I should, to be angry at him. But I couldn't, and I knew I couldn't. He was only trying to help, he was worried about me and thought by clearing it up, I could move on. As the old phrase goes: little did he know. My head was still hanging. I didn't want to look at him; I knew what, or who, I'd see and I hated it.

"Bella, don't, please…" His voice told me he was sympathetic. I wasn't going to cry, although I very much wanted to. I've shed enough tears recently to not need to, especially in the presence of someone else. I could wait until I was in my room. "You have no idea what it's like…" I glanced up at his face; he was distant, staring out through the window. "Having to watch you. You're always miserable, and you think you're fooling people. You don't go out. You mope, on your own… all the time. I'm actually scared for you, Bella."

I reached across the table and took one of his hands. "I know you don't want me to say I am, but I'm sorry, dad. I'll try from now on, okay?"

He smiled. It reached his eyes. I smiled back; this was the Charlie I was used to. The one who was uncomfortable talking about his feelings. "That's all I want." He said, squeezing my fingers in acknowledgement. "You really should call your mother though. She'll want to speak to you; it's been a while."

I got up from my seat and strode round the table, putting my arms around Charlie from his back. He grasped my forearms. "Thanks, dad." I said softly.

He gave a small chuckle. "You're not bad for a teenager." He told me, humour lacing his voice. "I'm lucky I've got you and not some of the kids in this town."

I smiled. "I'm gonna go ring mom, are you going back to work?"

I felt him nod, so released him and made my way over to the phone.

"Oh," Charlie began, twisted in his seat, watching me. "I almost forgot, you need to give Jake a ring. He rang just before you got in."

"Okay." I scooped up the phone and took the steps to my bedroom.


	5. Decisions

**A/n: Just a sort of filler chapter, I suppose, tis very short. I've been writing an **_**Alex Rider**_** one-shot recently, so I apologise if Bella sounds slightly different to the usual. Let me know if you're unhappy with anything. **

I closed the door behind me. My room was by no means soundproof, but it helped. Kicking my shoes off by my desk, I stood onto my bed and plopped down in the middle. I had a list of people I needed to ring now, who would be the first?

My mom was the most important, I guess. I was still unsure of her new phone number in Jacksonville. She and Phil had been living there for around 7 months now and she seemed to like it. I loved the sun; it was probably my least favourite thing about living in Forks: the lack of sun. I missed it terribly. My mom got more than her fair share of the nice whether. Whilst Phil was out trying to make a name for himself in the world of baseball, she would soak up as many rays as possible. I'd been to see her once since I'd arrived here. After the 'accident' last summer.

It'd been about exactly 2 weeks after… _he_'d left. My mother had been very sympathetic and welcomed me the same way. We'd not discussed anything; she'd understood that I was fragile, but we'd had fun. The beach, the sun, the sea and ice cream: the perfect holiday, in my opinion.

I pulled a piece of paper from my bedside drawer; I had to delve for it. I really hadn't spoken to my mom in a while, who'd've thought? I found it and looked at it. It was in my mom's handwriting. I dialled her number and held the phone to my ear.

Phil answered. "Hi, Phil." I greeted him. "It's Bella. Is my mom there?"

"Hey, Bella. Yeah, she is, I'll just go get her for you." There was some scuffing on the end of the line. "How are you doing?" He asked.

I smiled; Phil had always been easy to talk to. "Okay, I suppose. I think the weather's depressing me." I said with a laugh. "How's things in the sun?"

There was a pause. "Great, Bella, thanks. She's here, I'll just pass you over."

I spoke quicker. "Okay, thanks, Phil, bye!"

"Bella!" My mom's voice boomed. "It's been like a week!" Her childish mannerisms were clear even now.

I laughed. "Hi, mom. Yeah, I know, sorry, I've been really busy."

She giggled, her laugh high pitched. "I understand, honey. Has Charlie asked you to call me?"

"Yeah." I laughed. I'd almost forgotten how easy she found it to read people. "Tell me what's new so I've got something to report back to him."

We talked for about half an hour, before I had to make up a Government assignment just to get her off the phone. I liked talking to my mother, but I had loads to do tonight, and I was sure she'd probably forget what she'd told me and email me with the details anyway. I thought it best I ring Jacob. I bid farewell to Renee, she, of course, made sure I was checking my emails before she hung up.

Jake was next on the list. I nipped downstairs long enough to ask Charlie for Billy Black's phone number. I just caught him as he was leaving for work. He questioned me on matters concerning Renee. I assured him that she was doing fine, and filled him in with her recent ventures. The specific one I remembered was volley ball – she'd taken up a volley ball class. Although I could barely make it across a flat, stable surface, she was actually quite graceful.

Jake answered the phone. He had caller ID. "Hey, Bells." His husky voice purred.

Jake had been good to me. Recently, his dad's TV had passed away so they'd been spending a lot of time at mine and Charlie's place. Charlie watched the games anyways; Billy figured he'd easily catch them over here. Jake was the kind of guy a girl could really appreciate; he could cook, a skill that was never overlooked in my house. He helped me out with Charlie's meal preparation and stuff, whether it was the food or the company he liked more, I was unsure. I suspected the latter. He was an easy going sort of guy, so we didn't need to live in each others pockets to still be good friends. I said hello and waited for him to speak.

"So, I was wondering what you were doing this Friday night, you fancy a movie or something?" He asked, sounding pretty confident.

I blushed and was glad that were speaking via the phone. I'd known that Jacob wanted more for a while. I tried to make it as obvious as possible, without wounding his manly pride, that we couldn't be anything other than friends, but the more time we spent together, the more he seemed to think 'us' would work. It wasn't as if I could just avoid him, either. Aside from the fact 'friends' were few and far between for me right now, he was the son of my dad's best friend, we were stuck together; regardless of whether we liked it.

"I can't this week, Jake, sorry." I decided to go with a partial truth. He knew my lying voice. "It's the winter formal and I've made a promise to go." There was a pause on the line, maybe he'd hung up on me. "Jake?" I prodded.

"Yeah, Bella, I'm here." His 'happiness' sounded incredibly forced, and he would know that I knew it. "I didn't realise. I should've thought, since ours was last week. Who's taking you to the formal?" He didn't even try to keep the disdain out of his voice.

_Ha_. I knew it. "I'm not sure yet. I've had some offers, but I'm still thinking." I didn't want to name names, and find out that Josh had miraculously 'changed his mind' at the last second. It would be just like Jake. Well, his friends, anyway.

"Sure, sure." He was pissed. I could tell. "I thought you didn't like dancing."

Okay, this was taking it too far. I shouldn't have to explain my social circle and decisions to him. "I don't, but me and Charlie have been talking recently, and he says he's worried about me being on my own, in the house, all the time. He wants me to try and go out to enjoy myself more often. I'm not going to dance, I'm going to socialise; plus, it's a great excuse to maybe shop for another dress." I gambled, wondering whether he'd buy it. I made no secret of my distaste for shopping.

"Sure, sure." He repeated, indifferent. "I've got to go, Bella, speak to you later." And with that, he was gone. My mouth was gaping; I couldn't believe him! It looked like my good friend, Jacob Black, had hit a new level of obsession.

I shook my head. I was not going to let this bother me. No way. Pulling the phone from my ear, I punched in a new number, one that I knew. I had one more person on my list. The phone rang several times before anyone picked up. It was his mom, and I was embarrassed.

Josh picked up eventually, after his mom had launched into a conversation about the previous nights soaps – a topic I knew nothing about. "It was nice to speak to you, Bella!" She said brightly, before hanging up.

Josh laughed. "Sorry about that. I was in the shower."

"It's okay, she seems nice." I assured him. There were the beginnings of an awkward silence, which I broke before it could go anywhere. I hoped all our conversations wouldn't be like this from now on. "I was only ringing to take you up on your earlier offer." I told him.

"That's great, Bella!" His voice sounded vibrant and alive, genuinely happy from my decision. Maybe this could work.

"But, we can talk about it tomorrow." I urged him, interrupting before he could say anything else. "I don't wanna keep you from getting ready or whatever. You sound sort of busy."

He chuckled again. "Not quite, but I appreciate the thought."

I laughed this time. "I'll speak to you tomorrow." I waited for him to bid me goodbye before I hung up. _I_ had manners.

So, I _was_ going to the winter formal. And I was going with Josh. I seriously hoped Angela was right.


	6. Shoes

**A/n: I always think when authors write 'I'm not totally happy with this' that they shouldn't be posting, but now I see what they mean. I'm not 100% on this chapter and I can't quite work out why. Let me know if you can point anything out :/  
It's just another filler, the next chapter should be longer and more interesting/romantic. Watch this space :)  
Thanks for reading and, go onnnn, leave me a little review. You know you want to :)**

Friday came quickly; quicker than I'd both wanted or anticipated.

The week passed with very little scandal. Me and Josh talked the next day about his pre-dance plans. Charlie was over the moon when I told him that Josh had asked me. He knew the family, who were high up in the Forks social circle. They renovated houses and owned at least 50% of my street. Josh's dad also ran the most popular take out place on the high street, if it could even be called that. Charlie had never tried their food, but, in an attempt to fit in, always said he had. Josh seemed excited and I wished I could mirror his enthusiasm. Non-coincidentally, I was dreading it. What if I felt the way I had last time? What if I reacted to it, like called him Edward, or something?

Wow, his name… I'd not thought that in a while.

At any rate, Charlie was really happy that I'd chosen to go to the formal with Josh. They'd met once, when I'd lost my notes for some biology work and I'd needed to borrow his. He'd come over to drop them off when I couldn't avoid but introduce him to Charlie. Josh was polite, but with personality. They'd seemed to hit it off; Josh was an American football fan.

Jake never called back. I didn't bite, either. Maybe this was what he needed: time to think about the situation. I knew he was angry that I'd chosen someone else, but if he had some time, maybe he'd come to accept it. I hoped he would. I liked Jacob and I didn't want to lose his friendship over something so superficial.

I heard at school, on Wednesday, I think it was, that Jessica and Mike _were_ back on. This was number five now. I seriously hope it worked out for them this time; although, with Jessica's track record, I wasn't expecting anything miraculous. Much to Lauren's annoyance, and, hell, it was obvious, Tyler asked me to the formal. It felt slightly better being able to turn him down for a valid reason, and not a lie like last time.

I borrowed a dress from Angela. She wasn't going this year, which wasn't good. She and Ben were having a lazy night in whilst her parents had taken the twins away to see their grandparents. I appreciated that they needed some time alone. It would be the first time in a few weeks they'd had more than half an hour together. I really did want her there to… _support_ me, I guess, but I wasn't about the ruin her night. The dress was lovely. It was purpley-blue and had thin shoulder straps. It ruched down to my knees, where it came back in, giving it a pear-sort-of shape. My legs looked fantastic when I added high heels; I wasn't sure whether I could risk it, though.

I was dressed up and ready by 7 o'clock on Friday night, still debating on my choice in footwear when Josh's car pulled up on the driveway. Charlie was working late; there'd been some sort of animal attack in the forest of a neighbouring village which he'd agreed to help out with, so he wasn't parked up.

I went to the door in my stocking feet. Surprise, surprise, it was raining. The cold wafted in through the open door as Josh lumbered in and took down his hood. He was smiling.

"You clean up well."

I laughed. "Thanks." I took in his suit. He'd chosen a dark grey suit jacket and pants. They complimented his face perfectly. He'd gelled his hair into small but consistent spikes. His tie was light blue; _oh, lord, _we matched. "You don't look so bad yourself."

He shrugged out of his coat, laying it over the stair banister. "How long do you need?" He asked, checking his watch. "We've got plenty of time."

"Like, two minutes." I lifted my foot to the first step. "I just need some shoes." I gestured to the living room. "Make yourself at home and I'll shout you when I'm done."

He nodded, making his way into the lounge and sprawling out on the couch. Fighting back a blush from his familiarity, I made for my room. I could hear the TV blaring already – he really wasn't scared of coming across as arrogant.

As I reached for my door, I made the decision that, tonight, heels would be necessary. My choice in footwear would enhance my appearance, namely my calves, and also give me an excuse to turn down any invitations of dancing – my imbalance is that of legend at school; in heels I'd be avoided like the plague. It was a win-win situation.

I picked out a black pair, to match my clutch, that were particularly low. Hey, they were still heels, none the less. I didn't _want_ to injure myself. I bounded down the stairs, although, careful not to fall before I even made it out of the house. Josh was still laid on my sofa when I entered.

"Right, I'm good." I said, signally to him that we could go.

He got up, his eyes leaving the sports game on TV to land on me. I blushed almost instantaneously. "Seriously, Bella, you look amazing." He turned off my TV and stood before me in the centre of the room.

I watched, half in awe, half in fear, as his fingers trailed across the skin at my shoulders and slowed grasping my neck. I could feel the track of his warmth quite clearly; it felt nice. When I finally leant my head up at him, he was smiling. My mouth gaped again at his proximity, but not in disgust, more in a wonder at his bravery. I hadn't experienced traditional, contemporary young love before; this was all new to me. "Are those shoes really a sensible choice for you?" He asked, his breath running across my skin, the hairs on my neck standing on end.

I gulped. Rather loudly, I might add. Josh chuckled, his hand cupping my cheek as his fingers ran through my hair. "I mean, they look great, it's just… you know you'll fall, right?"

I let out a little smile and nodded. I wasn't quite capable of immediate speech. "Sure…" I managed, "But, I figure, I won't have to dance now."

He full on laughed, then. "I love your logic!" He exclaimed, taking my hand as he made our way to the door. He waited whilst I locked the house and reached his arm around my waist to take me to his car.

Ensuring I was content in the passenger seat, he strode round the car and started the engine. He reversed out of my drive, then turned to me. "I'm _so_ glad you're coming with me," He began, smiling at me from across the seat. Eventually, he twisted back to watch the road and set off towards school. "Tonight is gonna be great, thanks, Bella."

I couldn't look at him. Staring down at my hands, fiddling with the fabric of my dress, I nodded, a silent tear falling down my nose. Tonight would go one of two ways: incredibly well or, most likely, horrifically badly…


	7. Realization

**A/n: Hey again. Sorry for the delay but this chapter is slightly longer.  
****It'd be lovely if I could receive some nice reviews from anybody who reads this? I seem to be reviewed by Suzie, and that's, like, it. Not that I don't love you m'dear :)  
****Either way, thanks for reading anyway, and come back later for more! ;)**

So far, I was going with 'horrifically badly'.

Josh asked me to wait under a sheltered porch whilst he parked his car. I got out, holding my bag above my head in an attempt to keep myself dry. It didn't really work. The rain dropped in large beads into my hair. I'd decided to just curl it slightly more than its normal style; it suited the dress well. Once under the cover of the roof, I took a small comb from my clutch and ran it through my curls. They bounced back, holding happily. Disaster averted. I unzipped my long black coat to smooth down the front of my dress, it seemed okay. Once I was sure my outfit was still decent, I searched the parking lot for Josh's retreating figure.

I really was unsure of how he wanted me to feel towards him. More importantly, I was lost at how _I_ wanted to feel about _him_. I knew he liked me; of course, he'd made that completely obvious, but I'd, so far, made no attempt to reciprocate his advances. I'd never been much of a flirt and, I knew that any flirting I did par take in was unintentional. I appreciated his tameness so far. I knew of his previous ventures with the girls of our school well enough to know he was definitely slowing down for me. I also admired his persistence. So far, we'd had a few 'moments' in which I'd shown no romantic emotions towards him, yet he still kept trying. Maybe things could work out, after all? As for how I felt - God only knows. I knew that finding someone else would be a better idea than sitting at home and dwelling on the past, but was I really ready to let another man into my life after the disaster that had been my first boyfriend? _Josh is different, _my mind told me; I knew it was right in certain respects, but how could I be sure I wouldn't get hurt again? The answer: I couldn't. Sure, Josh wasn't of mythical species. Josh was a human boy. That was what set him apart from Edward. Josh was normal and stable. He ate, drank, slept… he was just like me. But even so, being human did not mean he would never hurt me; frankly, it meant the exact opposite. We all made mistakes. I wasn't sure if I wanted to put myself out there all over again if I'd only end up being crushed like before. Hell, I still wasn't even over the first blow, how could I survive another?

But like Angela had said, maybe being with Josh could help me in healing from the first upset. _You can't use him like that, _I scolded myself. I didn't want to take advantage of his affections, but my feelings might change if I gave them half a chance to catch up. _Might._ Could I honestly lead him on in the hope that my emotions towards him would alter? I'd been brought up with more respect for the feelings of others and it would be unfair of me to do so. I knew he wished for me to like him in return, but how would he feel if he knew that I was living in hope of my emotions? Would he rather I'd not raised his hopes in pursuing a relationship with me? Would he have been glad I'd given him a chance? I suspected what would be his decision, and that lead me to think what I was doing was wrong…

I agreed to come tonight purely to kill two birds with one stone. Charlie was happy I was getting out more and enjoying my time rather than wallowing in it, and Josh was happy that I'd consented coming to a social event as his date. As much as it was bad in the long run, I did want to make as many people as possible happy, and my moping around didn't help anyone. Maybe this was the right time to pull myself up off the floor and climb out of this hole I'd dug myself. Damn, if I didn't start now, it'd only be more difficult later. With this urge plain in my mind, I knew that tonight was a good idea. To satisfy my family and friends, I needed to find a constructive outlet on which to release my anger, and come out fighting. I could do it.

My new mental strategy clear, I hunted the parking lot again. I stood on my tip-toes from under the porch, not wanting to get wet. Josh's head became apparent among the sea of cars and I noticed him running towards me. He looked left and right before crossing the road and finding me.

He looked up, his hair absolutely soaked; the rain must be getting heavier. He shrugged off his coat and shook it out, making sure he didn't drench me. "You alright, Bella?" He asked, noticing my eyes watching his movements.

Josh looked… well, _hot_ coming in from the down pour. This new outlook must have been working, I felt better about Josh already. I strode towards him and his eyes followed me. It took me a second to realise he was still waiting for me to answer. I nodded, stopping by his side. "Did you park okay?" I spoke more out of politeness than longing to know about his vehicle troubles.

"Yeah. The lot's packed; I hope the halls big enough." He voiced his concern to me, at which I smiled. If he could speak openly to me, even about such trivial things, why couldn't I trust him in return?

I wanted this to work. Josh was by no means unattractive. There were many girls in the school I knew of who would gladly soak up his affection, but he wanted mine, something, up until a few moments ago, had scared me. Here, beside me, was a genuine guy, a _friend_ who honestly liked me, and I'd wanted to throw that away. My mind flashed briefly on Jake's face. He wanted me to feel differently towards him too, but that was a totally separate situation. Me and Jake… we just couldn't be like that. We were far too familiar to ever work. Our friendship would fall apart and I couldn't stand for that. Josh, however, was dissimilar. We could definitely function together. He'd already proven his willingness to wait for me with his slow and calm advances; maybe he could be happy with my affection blooming at a sluggish pace? Also, I knew Josh well enough to know that, if the event arose and it didn't work, if we couldn't form any relationship bonds, we would both be content with returning to the friendship we'd had before. I was most certainly willing to give this a shot.

I reached up to his hair and ruffled it with my fingers. They were soon sodden, but his hair showed life and was no longer flat from the rain. He laughed. "Hey! What are you doing?"

I was still smiling when I replied, placing my arm through his. "Sorting out your hair, the rain ruined it." I clarified. "Are you ready to go inside?"

Giving me a sideways glance, he patted my hand. "Yeah, let's get this show on the road." He gave me a sly wink and walked forward.

I followed him as he trailed a couple in front of us. The corridors seemed empty, as any school feels after the day has ended. The hallways felt longer than usual and I was happy to arrive at the hall doors.

"You sure you're okay? Feeling alright in those shoes?" Josh turned to ask me, a huge grin on his lips.

I opened my mouth to show shock; I'd only tripped twice so far and I was quite proud of myself. "I think I'm doing really well! It could have been worse."

He gave me a sly look from under his eye lashes and I giggled. "Honestly, I'm fine." I tried to make my voice sound earnest, but I'm sure I failed.

Nodding, he reached his hand up to cup mine once more. My hand was still at his lower arm and I felt his fingers twine with mine. I blushed from the intense look in his now serious eyes, and had to look down. My legs were shaky and I fell gradually into his side.

I shook my head. "Sorry…" I trailed off, but he didn't seem to hear. As I tried to haul myself back to standing, he snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me back. I was stable again. Trying to make a light joke of the whole experience, I laughed. "Thanks."

"I told you those shoes were a bad idea." He smiled, watching me with questioning eyes. Once he was sure I was comfortable and steady on my feet, he adjusted his arm so he was gripping my side. His support was much appreciated. "You ready to go inside?"

I nodded, "I'm about as ready as I'll ever be." My words sounded nervous, and I felt his fingers dig into my skin in empathy.

"I'll look after you." He smiled, walking forward and pushing open the doors.

I wasn't surprised by the state of hall; I was more scared of my reaction. The walls were covered in long, pink streamers over banners welcoming students to dance. Tables lined a central dance floor, each flooded in a large, tissue paper table cloth. The tabletops were made brighter with candles and glitter. Disco lights were flashing quickly across the dance floor and there were loads of people up, strutting their stuff. Towards our end of the hall, there was a buffet table with numerous drinks and snacks available. Josh wandered straight to the food. I thought he would. I groaned, actually out loud, when the room's full effect sunk in. He turned to me as he dragged me for sustenance.

"What's wrong?" He asked, using his free hand to reach for some cocktail sausages.

I looked around, throwing up my arms in infuriation. "This room is a death trap! Before I leave here tonight, I _will_ have injured myself. You just wait…" I said ominously.

He laughed at my tone. "I told you, I'll look after you. Stick with me and you'll be fine."

I scolded myself internally. I couldn't believe I'd let myself in for this! I don't even like social events! Why the hell had I come tonight? And to add to my self-annoyance, I'd come in ne of the most insensible pairs of shoes I owned. This night could only get worse – no doubt I'd end up tripping and throwing soda over Josh's suit. I could see it now…

"Hey, Bella!" I searched the crowds for the voice that had shouted me. With the constant change in visibility, it took me a few seconds to spot Jessica on the dance floor, waving madly towards me. Her arm protectively draped across Mike's shoulders, she made a gesture for me to join her. I quickly looked to Josh for salvation.

His fingers delving even further into the food platter, he didn't seem to be able to hear me at first. I raised my voice above the music. "Josh?" I asked for the second time, squeezing his hand at my waist. "Hello?" He turned, his mouth stuffed, quite comically, with pizza. Smiling, I spoke closer to his ear. "Jessica's asking me to dance with her; can we sit down and look deep in conversation so that I've got an excuse to ignore her?" I wanted to laugh out loud at the tone in my voice; I sounded like a moaning child.

Swallowing, he nodded and smiled. "Sure. You want me to look all moody so she thinks I'm stopping you?"

I nodded. "That'd be great, thanks." I beamed up at him and watched as his face shifted. Suddenly, he looked absolutely livid.

"Come on, we'll sit over there." He pointed to a table far enough from the DJ that we could have a regular conversation, but sufficiently close that we didn't look anti-social. "You want a drink?" His featured looked uncharacteristically unhappy. It was funny.

I nodded, trying to make a show of giving up my 'argument' with him. I twisted away from him as he made his way to the punch bowl. Finding quick eye contact with Jess, I shrugged in an attempt to let her know I'd tried. She looked miffed at first, I guess I'd created yet another reason for her to dislike Josh; she wasn't his number one fan anyway.

A took the glass from Josh and followed as he took my hand and made his way to the table. He smiled back at me as he walked.

His face looked so infantile as he grinned his easy smile into my eyes. I felt slightly dazed as the joy emanated from him and rubbed off on me. I blushed involuntarily and gaped at him. I watched as he laughed until I heard my name.

"Bella?" I turned to the sound, my face twisted into a childlike giggle. My eyes partially closed, I felt the cup slip between my fingers and, with the force from my quick spin, I hurled the glass from my hand and into the air.

The split second later, when my eyes were opened, I looked up to find Jessica stood before me, her slimming turquoise dress drenched from my drink.


	8. Stains

**A/n: Hi, it's been a while. I won't make excuses, it's probably not worth it lol  
This chapter is really short, but I don't think much else needed to happen or be said.  
I hope you like the last few paragraphs cos they were incredibly difficult to write and get just right. I still don't think they're perfect, but I'm not pretending to be a professional author, I'm only amateur therefore I don't write immensely well.  
Leave me a review?**

"You did _not_ just do that." Jessica's voice floated across to me as I stared at her. My drink had unfortunately been cola, so her ocean green dress was stained a burgundy-brown colour from her chest down to her hips. She'd out stretched her arms, glaring at me. If looks could kill…

Mike came up from behind her, not noticing, at first, Jess's front. He was smiling, his eyes bright and alight. "Hey, Bella." He greeted. He turned to Jessica, presumably to solve the mystery of her silence. His eyes widened briefly and his mouth formed an o. "Woah…"

My jaw hung limp. ""Jess, I'm so sorry!" I tried to apologise, but she held up her hand, interrupting me.

"Can it, Bella!" She snapped. Oh yes, she was definitely angry. I don't know what I'd expected, but it should have been this reaction. She closed her eyes, making a show of calming her fury. "You're a disaster waiting to happen!" She stormed off, dragging Mike by his hand. He broke free for a moment, shouting back to me as she stomped away toward her table.

"No worries, Bella, I'll sort it out!" He followed her, throwing a wave in my direction.

No longer having an audience, I heard Josh burst out laughing beside me. "That was awesome!" He took hold of my shoulder to steady himself, but I twisted to look at him, still shell shocked from what I'd just done.

"It was an accident." I said, more for my own sanity than his.

"I don't care!" Josh stuttered, beaming, almost doubled over from fits of cackles. I realised his hand on me wasn't to show me support after my pretty epic mistake, but to keep him from falling to the floor. "I couldn't have done that better 'accidentally' myself!"

I half smiled; even in the current predicament, his happiness was contagious. "I am not proud of that." I told him, although his outburst only continued, more loudly than before. I started to guide Josh towards the table he'd indicated earlier, deciding we should probably sit down. No doubt, half of the school would hate me by Monday, so I wanted to enjoy myself as best I could tonight. I directed Josh's shaking body into a chair and his face fell onto the table. He seemed to be calming down. I searched the crowd for Jessica, catching a few pairs of eyes on me. I couldn't see her and I assumed she must have left to avoid the embarrassment of her gown. I felt awful; I'd forced her to leave. "Josh, I'm really not feeling it here." That was an understatement, what with the people watching me and the unfriendly glances from Lauren and her group. I felt incredibly uncomfortable and wished I'd never come. I should have just gone to the movies with Jacob, that way the only humiliation I'd have endured would have been falling flat on my face and spilling the popcorn. Right now, I was positively mortified, and it wasn't my dress I'd stained. I couldn't even begin to imagine how Jessica was feeling. "How long are you going to be staying?"

His head rose, a wide grin still spread across his lips. "I'm not sure, Bella." He placed a hand on my knee and I turned full to see his face staring back at me. "If you want to go home, I'll take you, but it's only quarter to eight."

I nodded. "Sure, I'll stay a little bit longer." Shrugging, I looked down, taking his hand in my own and intertwining my fingers with his. "I'm just a bit tired, and I feel absolutely terrible about Jessica…" My eyes were already averted from his gaze, gaping down at my legs.

He sighed, squeezing my hand. "Try not to feel so bad, Bella. Like you said, you didn't do it on purpose."

"I still covered her in cola, though. I'm such a klutz! Why can't I just be normal?"

He gave me a sympathetic smile as I raised my eyes to his. I knew that I was going back into child mode. "Don't you start saying crap like that." His voice was soothing. "There's nothing wrong with you, your hearts always in the right place. If you were any different, your life would be totally alien, how do you know you'd even like it?" I'd never heard Josh speak so deeply before, it surprised me at how in touch with his feelings he seemed to be. "Anyway, you don't wanna be normal. Nahh, it's better to be extraordinary."

I tried to give him a small grin back, although I wasn't sure how forced it looked. Unexpectedly, his words had really made me feel better. I hadn't had Josh down as your rare boy next door type; he'd more fallen into my stereotypical male group. I'd judged him much too harshly. "Thank you."

I wasn't shocked to see his smile was getting closer. He leant his head towards me, craning his neck away from his chin. His back bent as far as he could and as he was about to reach, I closed the distance. He kept his one hand on my knees, reaching the other to grasp at the bottom of my back. I felt my fingers move out of instinct, resting at his neck and pulling him to me. Finally, after what seemed like an incredibly long few seconds, my mouth felt his. He was soft and fit quite neatly to my mouth. After a moment of tenderness, his lips parted and the kiss deepened to a level I'd not expected on this particular evening, let alone in this situation, with probably the whole student body watching.

My eyes closed and I drifted further and further away from the school hall. The arms around me drew cooler, firmer and toned. I caught one in my hand, tracing patterns into his forearm. His urgent kiss turned to a different type of affection, dangerous affection, and his lips turned to ice underneath my own, curving to satisfy my lust for his touch. I knew that all this imagery was nothing more than a mind trick, my brain trying to replace what it no longer possessed; but surely it couldn't be healthy.

Edward pulled away from me, his frame still supporting my upper body, and it took all my restraint and self control to let him. As soon as my eyes opened, Edward was gone. Josh was grinning.

_What the hell was that?_


End file.
